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Children Writing About The Sea:  

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.  
(Kelly age 6)  

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)  

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't  
have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)  

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just  like  
Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)  

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its  
head. (Billy age 8)  

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with  
crabs. (Millie age 6)  

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to  
cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the  
sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said  
they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)  

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny  
tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)  

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is  
always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my  
Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think  
what to write. (Amy  age 6)  

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric  
eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under  
the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into  
chargers. (Christopher age 7)  

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it  
makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)  

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two  
divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each  
other. (Becky age 8)  

13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when  
she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again  
because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)